"Hurricane" Workshop

The story is about two childhood friends who dare to go surfing in a hurricane. Travis convinces the narrator (I didn’t see a name for the narrator) come with him, though the narrator clearly has misgivings about the adventure. Travis, then, becomes the dominant character in the story, while the narrator is the more submissive character. This becomes even more apparent when Travis is the only one brave (or foolish) enough to attempt surfing in the storm surge. The narrator is portrayed as a coward, especially at the end when Travis leaves him alone on the stormy beach.

I’m guessing that the characters are about fifteen or sixteen, as the narrator states, “I’d never been arrested or gone to a bar or had a girlfriend.” Although there’s no evidence for this, Travis seems older than the narrator because the narrator looks up to him and wants Travis’s approval. Also, when they’re standing on the pier, Travis is more in control of himself, as though he’s a wiser, more experienced surfer. Near the end, I expected Travis to die after he gets pulled under the wave—violent nature pulling low the greater of the two surfers. Therefore, I was surprised that he survived, but the ending seemed fitting. Nature fails to break the one who tries to defy it, as Travis’s surfboard is left intact. On the other hand, the narrator, who is too afraid to challenge nature, is the one who’s defeated and loses his surfboard. Thus, the narrator also loses his friend’s respect.

On another note, I was wondering what happened to Tony. He’s talking to Travis and the narrator on the first page, seeming to dare them to go surf in the hurricane. Yet, he has no interest in going with them. If he is friends with them, why would he not want to join in? As of now, he just serves as a way of introducing the conflict, and then he drops out of the action.

Overall, I thought it was a good piece. Your description of surfing and the storm surge is strong and confident, which I find gives the piece a sense of authority. Good job!