The story is told from the perspective of an African hunting
knife that belongs to a serial killer named Bill. It starts with a murder in a
dark alley and then relates through flashbacks how Bill came to acquire the
knife and began using it as a murder weapon. At the end of the story, the
police surprise Bill right after murdering a young woman, and he runs off
forgetting his knife, which ends up in evidence storage.
Telling the story from the knife’s perspective is a unique
choice. I like that you make a romance of sorts between the serial killer and
the knife, as serial killers are often reverent to weapon and/or process. I
think giving the knife a name might boost this aspect of the story and make it
even more personal. In regards to the end, though, I find it a little
unbelievable that Bill would just leave his knife in the alley if he has such
an attachment to it. After all, he goes to extraordinary lengths to obtain it
and calls it “darling” after his kills. I think it would be more interesting
if, when the police catch him, he uses the knife to slit his own throat. In
fact, the line “His hands go up to his neck…” made me think that he was about
to kill himself. How would the knife react if he forced her to kill him?
Another thing you might consider is adding more details
about their “dates.” For instance, serial killers usually have rituals, though
I don’t feel like I get many of Bill’s other than his cleaning of the knife
with “utmost care.” Does he take souvenirs from his victims? Leave a signature?
Perhaps focus on this a bit more and trim down the flashback, which I felt ran
a little long.
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