"The Man With Two Souls" Workshop

The story is about two individuals living inside one body. I got the feeling that, before the beginning of the story, neither knew the other existed. Or perhaps only the one who is usually in control of the body didn’t know the other existed before the story’s beginning. The story relates a day in which the usually dormant soul suddenly gets control of the body. This soul awakes confused, with no idea of what has been going on in his life. Whenever he looks in the mirror, he can hear the dominant soul’s voice in his head. However, the story does not offer any explanation for the switch of control.

I thought the first page or two where the dormant soul is trying to orient himself in his life was well done. It was interesting because the narrator is as confused and desperate for information as the reader. However, I felt that there needed to be more emphasis on the relationship between the two souls rather than how the dormant soul acts in a life that’s new to him. I feel that a lot of the parts with the girlfriend and the promotion could be cut in favor of the two bodies warring for control. I’m also curious about the souls’ relationship. Why is one so ignorant and willing to let the other have control? I think you could really develop their relationship in the scene where one is about to stab the other. What if the one soul succeeded in scratching their mutual body? Does this soul realize that he’s also hurting himself? I think exploring this theme will greatly enrich the story.