"Backseat Boy" Workshop

The story is about the narrator’s mother who is having an affair with an underage bag boy at the local K&B. Even though the affair has been going on for three years, only the narrator (and possibly the narrator’s sister) knows about it. The narrative drips with the narrator’s disgust.

            The story has the beginnings of a good conflict, but right now I feel like it’s not really addressed. Affairs have great potential for tension, yet the narrator is the only person who knows about it, and she does not outwardly respond to the conflict. Instead, the story reads like a rant in which she vents her anger. What would happen if the narrator confronted her mother about it? Or if the narrator told her father and witnessed the aftermath? Another thing you might consider adding is more detail specifically related to the affair. What first made the narrator suspicious? Flirting? A too-familiar touch? The narrator states that her mother’s excuse that they needed milk made her suspicious, but there had to be something before that. Why did her mind jump to an affair? Also, what does James look like? Has he said anything to the narrator to make her hate him even more? Could he possibly be looking at her too closely in addition to her mother? How old is the narrator?

            I think you have the kernel for a good story. The next step is to make some decisions regarding the conflict.