The story is about three friends in high school who plan to
make a social statement at the start of their junior year of high school. They
are all white boys, but they are the minority at their school. They apparently
get bullied because of their race, so they decide to shave their heads to drive
home the point that they are white. Nick, however, has an acceptance letter in
his mailbox from a magnet school. The third person narrator tells the reader
that Nick will sign the letter and leave his two friends.
I like the
camaraderie between the three boys and the dramatic imagery of summer’s end
that foreshadows the estrangement that will soon occur between them. I would
like to have seen more interaction between the friends other than simply
shaving their heads. Perhaps consider cutting down some of the details about
the act of shaving in favor of some discussion about what they’re going to do
the first day of school. Nick thinks about this day, but what do his friends
think? Do they have any plans for how they will act or any expectations concerning
others’ reactions?
On another
note, the omniscient narrator stating what would happen with the letter in Nick’s
mailbox sort of took me out of the story. Another route you might consider is
having Nick already know about the letter. If you take this route, perhaps Nick
can also be conflicted with his decision. Or maybe Nick has no qualms about
leaving his friends and is just going along with them and enjoying the last week
of summer. Either way, I feel like this letter may be your main source of
conflict and therefore requires a little more focus.
Overall,
this is a great start!
No comments:
Post a Comment